Grateful for the $h!t Show (and an Update on My Health)

Sometimes life hands us lemons that aren't fit for human consumption...

They're more fit for the compost heap!

Life hands us debt...

divorce...

loss...

and for me health struggles.

How can we be grateful for it anyway and still see our way to abundance?

It's a question I get a lot...

and one I answer in this podcast episode. 

Please be patient with me too as I am working towards health as episodes won't be every week for a little bit.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Hey my doves, welcome back to another episode of Bold Hearts Big Moves. Um now I am putting a new episode out in the other side of the struggle as well, and it's gonna kind of have the same basic details that I'm gonna give you guys today. Um, as you've heard from Kashla, I did have a major medical episode, and I'm gonna give you kind of what happened because my my health right now is going to make posting consistently um an update for podcasts a little difficult. That doesn't mean that I'm abandoning you guys in any way, absolutely not, because I love you guys and I love um that you're showing up for me. And honestly, I can probably use the prayers right now, to be quite frank. Um, but I also want you guys just kind of in on the loop because you do like what I'm posting, and I don't want to be or to come across as inconsistent for no reason. Okay um in truth, I've been struggling with my health for a while now, and I think I've mentioned that a few times on the podcast that my health has been a struggle, but it got really bad at the end of June, um, which is why I haven't posted in so long and why posting still might be very inconsistent. Um I have, like I said, been struggling with my health probably about 11 years. Um I had a very traumatic miscarriage about 11 years ago, in which I had extensive blood loss that never really was recovered. And uh my weight also kind of ballooned out of control in about two months. I gained about 70 pounds, two, three months, I can't remember exactly, but I gained it really fast, really fast. And have never really been able to lose it. And because of the extensive blood loss, uh, we think what has happened, it's not confirmed yet, but uh my all of my blood panels and blood screening is coming back that this is likely the case. Uh because of the blood loss, my body reserved blood from my brain and my heart to keep me alive, and has starved my gut basically of blood for years, which has created um a break in the lining. And when there's a break in the mucal lining, uh it can leave your gut very exposed. And we think what's happening is I have a bunch of little mini tears in my intestines that are bleeding. So, because I have an internal bleed somewhere is kind of what we're thinking, and we're trying to find it for sure. Because that is what my blood uh panel has suggested, but that's not all. Uh, because my body has been in a constant state of uh trauma for 11 years, um, not able to lose the weight because it's been in a constant state of trauma, it drove up the pressure of my um cerebrospinal fluid. Um, and I developed a nose drip about a year ago, and that nose strip ended up actually being my brain fluid. And so around June 28th, I went into the hospital with stroke-like symptoms. Um, basically almost had a stroke because I didn't have enough fluid around my brain. Brain didn't like that. Um my brain was kind of sloughing a little bit, cutting off the blood supply from the brainstem. And um so yeah, I was in the I I was in a bit of a problem. But it's it's basically been one domino effect after another. I'm not out of the woods yet. We are they did repair the leak, luckily, um, but my health is still very, very, very fragile right now. And which is why I'm telling you guys this. I don't norm I wouldn't normally divulge a lot of medical information, but to help you guys understand why I'm not posting as much. And to ask that you please be patient with me as I go through this healing process. I'm looking at probably six months or more um healing time uh because my body is really, really struggling right now. And luckily, I've got some great doctors on my panel in my corner now who are advocating for me, who are trying to get things done so that way my body can really, really start to heal. Um, because it is struggling to heal even from the cerebral spinal fluid leak. And uh I still have to be very, very careful with the energy that I have. But so this is why I asked for your prayers. This is why I ask that you guys please be patient with me because I very likely will not be posting every single week or even every other week. Um, I'm going to try and post as often as I can. Um, and most likely the post will be on a Monday or a Tuesday. Okay. Um, but this is the reason why things have been so chaotic recently. But I also want to talk about like why it's important. Well, actually, today I want to talk about like what happens when something unexpected hits you in your business. Because this was unexpected, and if you guys remember, even just a few months ago, I was having a major energy issue as well. Um, maybe it was about a year ago, um, where I just couldn't keep up with things, right? And I felt like I had burnt out. And the truth of the matter was I think I was just really, really depleted back then. And what do we do when business when we have a business that is requiring us to be consistent, and there's just no way we can be. You know, that's the question I've been looking at the since the end of June right now, because if you hadn't noticed, consistency is not something that I can do right now in my podcast. And I honestly, I have considered actually just shutting them down and then opening them back up, but that didn't feel completely right either. I think this is why we really do need to be honest. Because if there's one thing I've recognized with my own personal clients, is they understand that life lifes us. And sometimes those lemons that they throw at us aren't even fit for a lemonade anymore. They're not even fit to be like, they're not, they're just not fit for human consumption, they're not even fit for soil consumption at this point, like they're just that bad, right? But I think that's why it's important that we be honest. This is part of the reason why I've explained to you the situation and how dire the situation actually is. I don't normally put my health information out on the internet for everybody to hear because I feel like it is personal.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

And it's a lot, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:00

But it makes I think it makes people a lot more relatable. And not only that, like depending on what kind of business you're running, I think it also strengthens your business to some degree. Right now, my business has had to contract a little bit, but allowing the contraction is also going to allow the expansion. I think about this in a year from now. You know, what's going on right now with my health is rough. Nah, it's it's rough. It's really rough going through this, having to pause client calls or take client calls from my bedroom. I don't like to do that, but I will right now and bless my clients' hearts right now. They are so good to understand the situation. Sometimes I've had to cancel calls on them. But in a year from now, because I finally know what's going on and what my body has been saying, now I know what the healing process is going to look like. And I know how to get there. It's just going to be a journey, and I'm not out of the woods yet to where I can just heal. I can just sit back and heal. There are a lot of procedures and other things that I need to deal with before I can really focus on completely healing my body. So I'm prioritizing rest right now, but I'm also prioritizing being honest. And the honesty and that prioritization and the ability to take a look at where I'm spending my time and how I need to spend my time is only going to strengthen my ability as an entrepreneur and my message in a year. Because how many of you maybe likewise are struggling with your health and also trying to juggle a family and a business on top of that? Maybe my story might be the thing that actually helps you heal. That's the cool thing about this, is stories are constantly being written. And the reason why people listen to me is because my stories are built out of experience. My own personal experience and my experience might work for you. At least I hope it does. That's why I do this whole thing, right? But you know what else is amazing? My business, even though I've had to cut back, is not losing profit. It's actually studied. And it's because I think I'm also allowing life in a way that I've never really allowed it before. I think we have to be very cognizant as uh entrepreneurs of what allowing life sometimes looks like. But just because life happens doesn't mean that we have to let our filter or our lens change. Something can be traumatic. And this is definitely a trauma. It definitely is.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

But it doesn't have to kick us completely down.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

It doesn't have to rob us of our joy if we keep the perspective. And this is why I talk about boundaries day and night. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean that I'm going to change my respect. Matter of fact, it gives me an opportunity to be even more respectful and grateful for the doctors that are showing up and the nurses that are helping me right now. I'm respecting, I respect the um alternative medicine field very much. But I'm also right now respecting a lot of the Western side of medicine. That's a great thing, actually. Because it gives me a wider range of people to respect and a wider range of views to respect. And um, but my advocation for myself was actually not. And I'm noticing other areas in my life where I didn't advocate for myself quite as well as what I should have. An 11-year issue with my health, unfortunately, was kind of due to being dismissed by doctors. And I let them dismiss me because I figured they knew more than I did. And I've noticed other ways in where I've allowed people to dismiss me and I shouldn't have. And I'm not gonna shit on myself, I'm gonna say that. Okay, it's just awareness, it's just simple awareness to the things that I needed to be aware of and how much more I can still advocate for myself. I've been teaching this for 15 years. Advocate for yourself. And I'm noticing I still need to strengthen it, right? That's what happens when we set boundaries for ourselves and why we can still see abundance, even in the mess, even in the crap. Is because when we have boundaries for ourselves, that this is who we are, no matter what, what tends to happen is whenever when anything happens in our life, those boundaries don't change. That view of ourselves doesn't change. The experience that we love about ourselves, the experience that we give ourselves doesn't have to change. Where's my health right now, even though it's not fun, is feedback just simple feedback. And yes, it might take six months to a year or possibly more before I can really move my reality into the truth that I'm healthy. But man, I'm sure gonna respect that health a lot more. I thought I respected it before, but I'm really gonna respect it now. I'm so grateful for this opportunity, actually, for me to go through what I'm going through because it's just gonna help me relate to people even more. And it's only gonna lend more power to my message. And really, honestly, if you think about it, a six-month to a year uphill climb is a lot better than the 11 years of suffering that I've done.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

And this is what it looks like to be grateful for the gross. And why gratitude for the things that are hard actually lends to our ability to hold more abundance? I was just coaching a client the other day, and I talked to him about how abundance is abundance, no matter the bowl. If you think about a child, you guys, a lot of you are parents, so you guys will relate to this. But if you think about a child and how you've maybe poured cereal for them and they won't eat the cereal because it's not the color or the right bowl, right? We do the same thing in life when it comes to abundance. We think that we shouldn't accept that $20 bills because we didn't do something for it. Or we can't accept abundance for some reason or another, but abundance is abundance no matter the bowl, just like Cheerios are Cheerios no matter the bowl. Right? But the bowl can get bigger, the bowl can change shape. The bowl, our ability to receive, the capacity to take in gets bigger. The more we can look at life with gratitude and a correct, or not even so much correct, but just a proper lens. This is hard, my loves, but it's not devastating me. Because I'm not focused on how hard it is, I'm focused on what's coming next, and I'm willing to do what I need to do to move my reality to the truth that I am healthy. That has lent me great perspective, and believe it or not, my business is actually still stable, even though I my health is inconsistent right now. Right? And it's not because of it's not because of how I'm showing up in my business, it's because of how I'm showing up in my head, how I'm showing up with myself, how I'm showing up still with great compassion for me. And that compassion erodes away at judgment, any any judgment I might have for another person, and that allows me to be able to receive clients, and that allows me to really be able to hear them and what my clients are saying, and from there be able to still support them no matter where I'm at, and my clients love supporting me back, but it's simply because I'm in the cycle of support, and that cycle of support, what do we call money? Support that is still consistent because my clients understand my health, you're now understanding my health, and I have a feeling you also desire to support through prayers, through love. I feel it. Maybe you desire to send me a message, feel free, right? You can message the show, you can also email me at erinanders at aaron anderson-coaching.com and I love that all. Just because something is hard doesn't mean that we can't keep sending love out into the universe and receiving love in return. It really depends upon our perspectives and who we say we are is really what shapes those perspectives. So when I say I am healthy, that's a perspective shift. I'm recognizing how my time, I haven't advocated well for my time, and I have not advocated well for myself in some ways, and that's gonna change because someone who is healthy or the version of me that is healthy is someone who advocates for herself very well. And she doesn't let other people tell her what she should think, and I did let that happen. I'm so grateful. I am so grateful now for an opportunity to see things differently. No matter what we're going through, loves, we can still find the goodness and the gratitude in it. People ask me how you can be grateful for debt, how you can be grateful for business that isn't bringing in money, how you can be grateful, how you can be grateful, and this is how.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Look at where it's gonna take you if you let it.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

And look at the look at the contrast of the version of you that is showing up right now versus the version of you that has that money. Do they think the same way? The version of you now versus the version of you who has a thriving, successful business. Do those two people think the same way? I had to look at my version of where I'm at right now to the version of me that is healthy. My definition of healthy. She didn't think the same way. I thought she did until I experienced this. I'm grateful for it. So now my loves, exercise gratitude. I promise it is such a business principle because it does stabilize things. And it helps you to not feel panic when things aren't working the way they should. It helps you accept what is right now and move towards the best version of you with the thing that you say you want. Anyway, my loves, I know this is short this week, but I hope it's helpful. Um, I've been thinking about you for a long time. I've wanted to get this episode out for a long time. But please, in response, just keep checking back every single week to see if another episode's been uploaded. It's gonna take some time for me to really be able to be back to that consistency, but I'll get there. I hope that you can keep following me because I'm still going to be providing uh help and comfort in this podcast, and I'm gonna be really uh raw and honest about my transformation. It might not be every single week yet, but um I will keep you updated and I want you along on this journey because you'll notice things and you'll hear things about this transformation because it's gonna happen. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It is going to happen. I am going, I am healthy. There's no other option. I'm not giving myself another option. I just am recognizing and respecting the journey that it's gonna take. And I hope you're there with me on this journey. Be patient with me on this journey because you will see things in from my own perspective and what's happening right now with me that will lend to your success as well. Because I hope to show you a success, a success arch.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

And I hope that that arch can influence and inspire you with your own. Until next time, my loves. I'll see you soon. Bye.