Maybe Consistency Isn’t About Discipline

Maybe consistency isn’t about becoming more disciplined. Maybe it’s about creating a life, business, and nervous system that actually has room to breathe.

In this episode of Bold Hearts, Big Moves, we’re having a softer and more honest conversation about consistency, overwhelm, entrepreneurship, leadership, and the pressure so many women quietly carry every single day.

Because so many female entrepreneurs are not lacking ambition, vision, or capability. They’re carrying too much.

We talk about:

•  Why overwhelm often comes from over-responsibility, not laziness 
•  The hidden belief many women carry around trust and delegation 
•  How self-reliance can quietly turn into isolation 
•  Why emotional safety matters in business growth 
•  The connection between boundaries, support, and sustainable success 
•  How to expand your capacity to receive instead of filling your capacity with overwhelm 
•  The kind of leadership that helps teams, families, and businesses truly thrive 
•  Why people expand in environments where they feel seen, heard, valued, appreciated, and trusted 
•  How to hold both compassion and accountability in leadership and in your relationship with yourself 

This episode is a reminder that sustainable success is not built through self punishment or pressure. It’s built through support, self trust, emotional safety, boundaries, and learning how to stay connected to yourself while you grow.

Because maybe consistency was never meant to feel like punishment.

Maybe it was always meant to feel like devotion.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey my loves, welcome back to another episode of Bold Hearts Big Moves. This is the podcast where we talk about healing business, motherhood, money, boundaries, relationship, self-trust, and becoming the version of you who gets to actually hold what she keeps praying for that actually gets to keep gets to have the capacity to be that six or seven figure business owner or above. And today I want to have a really honest and gentle conversation with you about consistency because I think that women have been taught to approach consistency in such a hard, masculine, pressure-filled way. And I get it. But the problem with us as women is that doesn't always work for us. Because it teaches us things like, and nothing against Tony Robins or Grant Cardone, I think there's some great things we can learn from them. And I do learn from them quite a bit. I love, I love their content, both of them. But I think if we try to um follow everything that they do to build their business, I think that as women, it can teach us things like we just have to be push harder, we need to be more disciplined, we would need to wake up earlier, we need to stay motivated, we need to get into the grind, hustle harder, never slow down. But honestly, women listening to this podcast are already carrying so much. And you're the reason why is because you guys are building businesses while raising kids, uh, holding emotional weight while trying to stay hopeful, trying to heal while also trying to create financial stability, trying to build relationships, homes, visions, dreams, and purpose all at the same time. And it's not to say that these men aren't doing the same thing, but it is very different for women. We tend to see so much more, and there is such a thing as the emotional and mental load. And women naturally tend to carry that we're tracking schedules, we're tracking money, we're tracking, tracking, tracking, tracking, and seeing like all of the moving pieces. While men tend to be very good at just getting out there and slaying the dragon, right? Like that's kind of the one thing we have to do. But we don't only have to slay the dragon, but we've got to make sure we build the cart, build the horse, build the weapons. Like, are these weapons gonna work? Like, etc. And then we've got a schedule, you know, making sure we kill that dragon. There's a lot more to what women do, and I think the reason being is because we are the nurturers, we are the laborers with nurturing. Um, we're the we're the ones that raise the kids. Like women tend to wear so many hats, and that is not to discount men at all. So grateful for them. Like, honestly, without my husband going to work every single day, what I put out into the world would not be possible. So, like, kudos to the guys that are around us, okay. But it's also important to note that because we're the ones that are kind of the home builders, we are the ones that are also tracking a billion different moving pieces, okay? And I think that's why sometimes we get labeled as inconsistent, but in reality, I don't necessarily think it's inconsistency. I think it's exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, taking on too much, not enough support, or a nervous system that simply just doesn't have the room to carry one more thing. And I want to say um here something that I think a lot of entrepreneur women quietly quietly experience, and is that is that you don't lack discipline necessarily. I think it takes a lot of discipline to be able to do everything that we do. And if you're listening to this podcast and you're part of my audience, I know for a fact you're not sitting behind a TV eating potato chips on a daily basis um and getting and and doing absolutely nothing else, right? You're someone who's highly motivated, and that's not lacking discipline, it's just literally carrying too much. And um capable because capable women often become the person that everybody else depends on. And somewhere along the way, many of us develop this belief that says this matters deeply, and I don't know, but but here's the problem. I just don't know if I can trust someone else to carry it the way it needs to be carried. I don't trust that somebody else can do it the way I can do it, so I'll just do it. And that pattern often comes from love, it comes from leadership, it comes from understanding our responsibility and from care and wanting things done well because it's got your name on it. I get it. But the problem is, is eventually instead of expanding our capacity to receive, it fills our capacity with overwhelm. And so eventually there's just simply not enough room in our nervous systems to create sustainability, and it's not because we're failing, it's not because we're lazy, it's because we're human beings and we were never designed to carry everything alone. Um, we only have 24 hours in a day, and somewhere we need to have downtime, we need to have self-care, and we need to have sleep, we need to take a bath, we need to brush our teeth. And if we're pushing all of us out of our life, and I get it, guys, like at this moment, I'm doing my business, my podcast, uh, going back to school full-time, doing momhood, like I get like I might even be preaching preaching to the choir here, but if we don't take the time for ourselves, we tend to get into overwhelm, and then all of a sudden that transmutes into I'm not dependable, I'm not organized enough, I'm not uh disciplined enough, I'm not enough for this role. And over-responsibility is really honestly overfunctioning. But healing teaches us things like support is safe, delegation is safe, being helped is safe, receiving receiving what I need and what I want is safe. And honestly, consistency isn't about doing more, it's about stop, it's about learning how to stop carrying everything. And you might be asking yourself, okay, but how do I do that? Like I've tried to give things to people and they come back, and it's just an absolute mess. And so I end up having to do it anyway, which takes up more of my time. Like, I totally hear how like how this whole thing unfolds, okay? But the problem is, is that's actually not an unfolding that's keeping us in a trauma cycle. So let's talk then about consistency and self-trust because we want to undo this trauma cycle and get into a trust cycle, knowing that you're at the helm and you're leading it, so things are going to actually work out. Okay. So consistency has a lot more to do with self-trust than control. Because when a woman trusts herself, she doesn't need to force herself forward every second of every day. She knows how to quickly return to herself, make relationship repair with herself, and she knows how to reconnect with her voice, her vision, her soul, her values, her boundaries. She knows how to reconnect with herself. And that return matters way more than absolute perfection ever will, because life has seasons. And in this season, you might be a mom and maybe a young mom, even, and building a business, wanting to go six, seven figures. You're not sure how to do it with little kids, right? Um, maybe you're more of a maturepreneur, maybe you're right in between, like I am, who've got adult kids and I've got little kids, right? Some seasons feel awesome and energized, some feel tender, some feel uncertain, heavy, and some require rest, some require rebuilding. Seasons are simply just seasons. But if we don't have consistency within ourselves, within those seasons, because seasons are inconsistent all the time, every single day comes, every single day, but what's inside the day is not consistent. Um, we have to have some sort of consistency within ourselves, otherwise, we find ourselves in nervous system and emotional dysregulation. And that matters, especially as women, especially as moms, um, especially as entrepreneurs, balancing emotional labor and ambition at the same time. So, one thing I've noticed in business is that growth challenges visibility. And that's the reason why is because visibility can bring up a lot of vulnerability and emotions. And you know, vulnerability plus accountability is an absolute superpower, but that still doesn't mean that we want to be vulnerable with everyone. Um we still need to be able to know the difference behind someone who is safe and behind someone who is not, and because you should be able to feel safe. And there are some people, even with vulnerability and accountability, that will use that accountability and vulnerability against you in some way, especially if they're challenged by your success. Okay, and you might have already noticed this, and so that visibility and that vulnerability might have already brought up criticism, rejection, pressure, conflict, misunderstanding, jealousy, or disappointment. So when business asks us to become more visible, it's gonna bring emotions to the surface because our nervous system is gonna ask us if we're actually safe. And this is why compassion matters so much more than entrepreneurship, because sometimes what looks like procrastination from the outside is actually someone navigating expansion from the inside while also carrying old emotional experiences at the same time. You can't just move on from the past without healing it and understanding how the past isn't going to represent again or resurface again in your future. So the thing is consistency looks a lot softer than what we've been taught, especially for the feminine entrepreneur. It looks like returning to yourself, especially after a deep, difficult week, speaking kindly to yourself when there's a lot of growth happening, being patient with yourself through that growth, allowing yourself rest and staying on top of your self-care before you hit burnout, simplifying instead of constantly pushing harder, honoring your capacity honestly, creating boundaries that protect your energy and continuing imperfectly instead of disappearing completely, which unfortunately is something that I do see happen. And heavens, when I the last time, which was not very long ago, when I burnt out, I did disappear completely because I couldn't hold one more thing. It is okay. And sustainable women create sustainable businesses, and it's it's it's not because they never struggle or because they never they do everything perfectly every single day, but it's because they stay connected to themselves while they grow. They stay, they're the one person that they never abandon, right? And I think the hardest thing for highly capable women is learning how to receive support without guilt, because many women have learned how to survive becoming deeply self-sufficient and reliant. And let's also be honest, there's also an underlying message, I think, in society teaching women that if you're uh reliant on yourself, that you are sufficient, um, or that you're self-sufficient, I think that there is a little bit of a you're too much, or you're Karen, or there's there's quite a bit of judgment around women who are very capable, right? And we don't like it because it's not true. But if it's not true, why on earth does do we feel pulled into it? Because someone, especially a woman who is deeply secure with herself, recognizes that's their problem, that is their voice. And again, maybe preaching a little bit to the choir here. I still get drawn into drama, but I know that the seven-figure me doesn't. So that's one of the things that I personally am working on right now as I'm recording this podcast. And here's the thing, even if ever if every responsibility can continues flowing through one nervous system, even though you're deeply independent and deeply self-reliant, if everything keeps flowing through your nervous system and your nervous system alone, that's why overwhelm happens. It actually becomes inevitable. So it's important to ask questions like what actually belongs to me, what can be simplified, what can be supported, where am I overcarrying? Where have I connected my worth to being the one who handles everything? Right? And how can, and I think another question here is how can I lead my team, or how can I build a team that accepts my leadership? I think that that's a really important piece because a team that is going to accept your leadership is also going to build with your brand and your name in mind because they honor it, because they honor you. So receiving is a skill too. And it requires us having to ask those questions. And the women who create sustainable success are not the women that are carrying the most. They're the women who learned how to build support around what matters most. And I also think it's important to talk about what like what happens after we finally allow support into our lives and our businesses, because support doesn't just magically happen because we hired someone. Support grows through leadership. Leadership is the filter of support. And one of the most powerful forms of feminine leadership is creating environments where people genuinely feel seen, heard, understood, valued, appreciated, celebrated, admired, and trusted. Because people naturally expand in their environments where they feel not just emotionally safe, but feel like a rock star every single time that they walk in the door. Like if we know and we express how valuable that person is and how we just absolutely love what they're creating, and how capable and cognizant they are in their job, these are people that create that way. And it's not just in employees, that's true for marriages, that's true for children, that's true for teams, and honestly, that's true for us too. Employees who feel valued and appreciated are often far more willing to carry responsibility well because they don't feel like invisible machines. They feel connected to the mission, they feel respected, they feel like their contribution matters, and they feel like they have a purpose because healthy leadership also balances nurture with accountability. It's not avoiding hard conversations, it's being willing to lovingly have them, and it's saying with authenticity, honesty, and true love for the people that you surround yourself. I value you, I value the communication, the honest communication that we have. I appreciate that you're not hiding, that you're stepping up, you're taking accountability. Like, holy cow, you're amazing. I'm so glad you're part of my team. I respect you enough to uphold standards because I know you're going to. I care enough about this vision to help all of us grow. Because accountability without care feels harsh and it feels uncaring because it is. But care without accountability also creates instability. Healthy leadership really requires a balance of both accountability and care at the same time. Because then now you're communicating, hey, I see you and I know what you're capable of, and I know you can do it. I trust you. I trust you to do that. And this applies to the relationship that we have with ourselves too. So many women are incredible at valuing and supporting everyone else while speaking harshly to themselves internally. But expansion happens when we begin creating that same environment within ourselves. When we start saying, I see myself, I hear myself, I value myself, I appreciate myself for what I'm carrying and what I have the capacity for. I celebrate my growth, I trust myself to keep learning, and I can hold both compassion and accountability at the same time. That's where our capacity to receive actually starts to expand. It's not through pressure, it's not through self-punishment, but through building an internal relationship safe enough to grow inside of. In our needs, ignore our emotions and say yes when we mean no, or disconnect from ourselves to keep everyone else comfortable, it becomes harder to create from a grounded place. Boundaries bring us back into alignment, and alignment creates clarity. Clarity creates safety, safety creates consistency, not force consistency, but and not pressure-based consistency, but actual consistency that feels good. We are consistent because we like what we're doing, we see the results. We're putting forth an investment that actually brings return. Absolutely. And there are moments where we need to honor commitments even when we don't feel like honoring them. But I think that leadership, especially feminine leadership, requires wisdom. It asks what actually supports me long-term, what helps me stay connected to myself, to my vision, what rhythm helps me to keep growing without abandoning myself and my peace and my vision? Because success that costs you your relationship with yourself eventually stops feeling successful. It starts feeling burdensome. And I think we're starting to wake up to that as women. So maybe consistency was never meant to feel like a punishment or a chore. It was maybe meant to feel like devotion and self-love and appreciation for ourselves, returning, connecting, reconnecting, and remembering who we are, why we're here, what our boundaries are, and how to live within our values. Again and again, because living within our values is what brings our value up. And when our value goes up, guess what increases our ability to receive? And when our ability to receive increases, that's when we start seeing those six and seven figures in our bank accounts. So maybe the women who build beautiful things are not always the women that are caring the most, but maybe it's the women who learned how to receive, how to trust, how to lead, how to honor themselves, and how to create support around the life they're building. And that kind of consistency is what gets in and actually shifts the world. Because let's be honest, the reason why you started business in the first place is because you saw also the impact, the positive impact it can have on society. So, my loves, if this episode spoke to you, share it with an with more of your entrepreneur friends, especially those that you know could use the boundaries and the help. The second thing I'd also invite you to do, if you want more help, if you want more help clarifying your business, you want more help bringing in more income, and you want help clarifying your boundaries so that way you can absolutely crush your next ceiling and create what it is you say you want to create. Book the call. The link is in the description below. You get to talk to me personally, and you and I will go over uh what boundaries you need to create the next version of you. No pressure, no questions asked. Well, lots of questions asked, but no pressure. Just me being absolutely present with you, seeing every aspect of you, so that way you can create the next version of you. And along with that, the income that comes. All right, my loves. Until next time, I'll see you next week. Bye.