Missions, Purposes, and Briefcases. OH My! with Jannette Anderson

Have you ever stopped to think about "Why"?

Why do we want the business?

Why do we put in the hours that we do?

Why are we the way we are?

My friend Jannette Anderson, the Maturepreneur, and I sit down this week and discuss how often our why's detect the how in business.

When we are clear with our why, we are able to see clearer how we want to structure and organize so we can achieve the goal that we desire.

The neat thing about this is it also brings out our Mission's and Purposes!

So join Jannette and I this week as we discuss how to lean into that why and gain clarity on the how!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Bold Hearts Big Moves. Guys, when I say I get the best guests on this show, I am not joking. Like, oh my gosh, Jeanette Anderson, the mature maturepreneur. Let me just spit that one out. Maturepreneur, and I have been sitting here for the last 30 minutes, and we've had a couple of calls before then. Just getting to know Jeanette has been a pure joy. We're sitting here chatting about my own business and like she's pointing out things that I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah, like, yeah, this is yummy stuff. And so, like, you know, even though Jeanette helps, you know, entrepreneurs, 50 and plus, to be seen, heard, understood, valued, and appreciated for the contributions that they bring to this world. Because let's be honest, you know, entrepreneurs that are 50 and above are often looked at as incapable. And we get that as I think entrepreneurs in general, like we have felt that, right? We've we've aligned with that at some point. And so Jeanette's coming in today to talk about our why to expand our minds a little bit with our own businesses, because man, she has blown mine mine, I'll say that. And then also to bring it back to the boundary of who we truly are going to be and how we're gonna show up in authenticity a hundred percent. So, Jeanette, thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited for this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Thanks, Erin. And yeah, it's been so cool chatting with you about you know God's intention in our life and how to move forward and how to all the things that we we deal with as entrepreneurs because I think having a business is the best personal growth program you could ever take. There's nothing like being an entrepreneur to help you see all your crap right there.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Yes, yes, yeah. Truly, truly, and you know, you're right. Like, I'm thinking about you know, me before entrepreneur, and when I say that, I'm also acknowledging that I was not acknowledging at that time like how much of an entrepreneur I was, but like how much entrepreneurship has balanced me as a mom, as as a wife, as as just even a homemaker, has been astounding, right? It's it's insane.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

It requires us to be resourceful for one thing, and that affects other parts of our lives, resilient because there's lots of ups and downs and ins and outs, and what we might see as rejection or or so forth. And it also really calls us to step into why we care about things, why are we doing what we're doing? Because when you get you know confronted day to day with not making sales or things not working, or uh, you know, having the challenge of how do I pay my bills this month? Right, you better have a strong why to pull you forward to keep you in the game, or you're just not gonna you're not gonna make it. So that's why I'm so passionate about making sure that people are clear on what is my purpose as an anchoring point for why we do what we do. Um, yeah, you know, not just because I'm gonna go make some money. Well, honey, go get a job because that's easier. Um, yeah, yeah. Right. If you want to make a difference and make money, you can do that in a job. But I think that that entrepreneurship is one of the best ways to have impact and income. Personally, I'm very biased that way. Well, no, I I since I was five. I think I came out of the womb with a briefcase, really. My mom didn't appreciate it at all, let me tell you.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

So yeah. Oh, oh, that gave me a mental image. Like I knew, right? Yeah, I'm sure she did not appreciate that birth. No, no, no, no, no. But like, oh, I love that mental image. That's that's awesome. I'm gonna have to use that one. But like, here's the deal like, you're right. You are so right. Like, every single time I've thought about like financial struggles, like it's happened. I've been doing uh coaching for 15 years. Am I rich? No, right? Have I hit six figures in my business? I have hit it twice now, and it doesn't mean that I'm rich, yeah, right. But I didn't start this to become rich, yeah, right. And here's the thing too, like I want to point out, like, I think in a way, if that's our why, like to get rich, I think that devalues what we do a bit.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Oh, do you? Oh, that's interesting. See, now I I personally have a belief that we get told, and especially this might be controversial for you. That's okay. Now have at it. Have at it. I can handle it. I'm good. Religious people often have a belief that to want money, to have money, to aspire to money is not spiritual. And I think it's everything but that. I think it's highly spiritual to want to be do and have abundance so that we can share it. I, you know, I want to give you a little visual. Um, I sometimes do this when I'm speaking. I have a big uh metal bowl on the floor, and I have a styrofoam cup, and I I'm poking it with a pen, right? And putting holes in it, and then I take a big jug of water and I pour it in the cup, and it all the water kind of goes shooting out all over all the holes, and some of it dribbles into the bowl, and some of it overflows into the bowl, but basically it's going everywhere. And I say, Look, this is the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, pouring into us constantly, always, and our limiting beliefs and our stuff about money and so forth are us poking holes in the in the cup, and so it leaks, and we never feel full. And the bowl, i aka the world, never gets filled up with the nourishment and the and the the water that we bring because it's not efficient. So the first thing is stop poking holes, stop, you know, I agree. You know, etc. I'm not enough. Stop the not enough story. Get some damn duct tape, fix the cup, right? Let it be filled up and let it overflow so that you can efficiently fill the world. And that overflow includes making a lot of money. That overflows having more than enough time, energy, love, heart, etc. etc. etc. So that's the everyone to kind of take away of both and yes, no, I I completely agree.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

So let me say this, because I think that maybe there was a little bit of a misunderstanding when I said that, okay. Because first, I completely believe that you know, as Christian, if God is my father, then I have the ability to be like him. And that that's a that's a different Christian theology than a lot of Christianity has. And being a Latter-day Saint, that's actually one of the things that we get kind of slammed for, is that theology. But the thing is, is if he is abundant, yeah, then that means I get to be too.

unknown 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Right. And he's not ashamed of that abundance. He everything in this world is his, he owns everything and he gives it to us to use for our benefit and our good. Yes, I completely believe that. Completely believe that. I sus I subscribe to that.

unknown 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

What I mean by that is when our only why is money, yeah, that's when it becomes devalued. Because what ends up happening is we're not I've seen this, okay. Um, in like when I when I've been on calls with people that have wanted to sell me something, yeah, and that's their only why is to get like so much money, and that's like they're trying to set this financial goal, which is fine. Yeah, right. But that's the only goal.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Yeah. When you are a means to an end, then you don't feel like they're actually exactly.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

And that's what I'm saying. Like, that's where it starts to devalue what we can actually do, right?

unknown 8:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

But if our it like it, there's nothing wrong with putting a dollar amount to what we say we want to do or what we want to make or what our what our services are valued at. There is nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying, like, don't let that be the only way.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Absolutely. And it becomes very uh, you know, when we get tied to something like that out external, whether it's money or a title or a role, then we have an identity crisis when that goes away. If we don't have a good month financially, or if we no longer are in that role, you know, like I deal with a lot of older people, maturepreneurs, 55 plus, who are now going through a major identity crisis of who am I now if I'm not a CEO or an accountant mom. But we never were our roles. I mean, we are our roles, but we are that's not our purpose in life. Our purpose in life is not what we do, it's why we do what we do. Exactly. I love that my definition is a bit different than most people. I believe that our purpose, our why, is the intersection of what we're healing from the past and what we long for for the future for ourselves and other people, what we're healing from the past and what we long for for the future for ourselves and others. And whether you believe it's God given or you chose it, or it's your lesson this lifetime, whatever your framework is, that's fine. But when we know what that is, I think it's a thread that weaves through the tapestry of our life. It doesn't change how we live into it and express it changes over time and different ages and stages. Um, but our grows consistent, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I agree with that. I completely agree with that. And I've even said that, like I've kind of broken it down into four main categories that you know we'd call our why or a mission and purpose, right? Like, like why we're here? What why like why are we on this planet? Right? We this like this is so going into the boundaries because once you know that, you can really set like identity parameters around that, right? And so, like for me, it comes down to um, and I've noticed this about myself and my clients, your passions. Yeah, like what are you really passionate about, right? I've always been someone that's passionate about like spirituality and mental health, creativity, etc. Right. What are your passions? Second, what are your gifts? And I'm talking about like what are the spiritual gifts? You said you mentioned you came here with a briefcase, right? Like that's what that's kind of what I'm talking about with spiritual gifts. For me, like I can see people's potential almost like that. Once we start talking, I can hear within just like a couple of words, like what they're meant to do here. Like, obviously, they could they get to subscribe to that and they they get to form that, right? But like uh, I just had a conversation with a client yesterday and he was talking about like how he wants to coach um businesses in in their uh ability to retain retain uh not just clients, but also like their their culture and and their people that work with them, right? And he and so I like caught like this beautiful vision, and that's what I get to do. Like once they start talking about like what they want, I catch this gorgeous vision and I share it with them and like like it makes things so much clearer for them.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

So that's a spiritual gift that comes with me. This third one is our talents. Like I love to draw, I love to dance, I love to sing, my voice actually has abilities to to draw people in. I know this, right? These are talents, yeah. But the last one is what you were just saying, is your traumas, the crap. The crap. If I hadn't experienced what I experienced, I wouldn't understand my clients so well.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Absolutely. I I um grew up with lots of drama and trauma, and and there's pretty much nothing you can name from you know incest to to rape to everything in between that uh I haven't experienced. And I I um I feel blessed because I had the mother I had who was borderline personality disorder and and very challenging, five marriages and five divorces and so forth, but but because it created in me a greater capacity. There is very little I can't relate to in the world, except love and and deal with. There's there's such uh, you know, I have so much more resilience than many, many people I know. And it's really um because uh you know, there's a line in I think it's in the prophet, that sorrow carves a deeper well for joy to fill. And I believe that that's the truth of my past is it creates beautiful capacity for who I am and have become. But I, you know, I think our why, so you know, that that whole lifetime of drama and trauma, and essentially growing up with a lot of no's. Like, you know, my I wanted the book Heidi and uh when I was very young and begged and begged, and finally my mom would turn around and yelled one day, no, we can't afford it. And I was really shocked, Erin, not by what she said, I heard that a lot, but by the look on her face. I was five. And I remember thinking and deciding at that age that I never wanted to see that look on another person's face, especially another woman's, a look of shame and despair and anger and frustration. Say no, no to something as simple as giving your you know your child a book a five-dollar book. Yeah, well, probably was a dollar back then, and so I'm old. So I wanted to say uh, you know, I decided at that point that it was about creating yes lives for for me and other people, and a key to that was um, so my purpose is that I want you to get that you matter and live like you do, yeah. Because I always wanted to matter, I wanted to be put ahead of the addictions and the men and the you know, booze and etc. etc. I wanted to matter, I wanted to get on the list, not even the top of the list, just on the damn list. And so that longing, that deep existential longing to matter, to be put first, is something that I see and recognize in other people. Yeah, I want them to get, I want you to get that you matter in a specific way and in a bunch of ways, and to live like you do, because there's a difference between, you know, navel gazing and going, you know, yes, I I matter, and actually being the difference that you're meant to be. And that's where I think knowing your why really comes in is because then you can you can apply it in so many ways, it gets you out of bed in the morning, you can use it to differentiate yourself in the marketplace or the workplace because people buy why you do what you do, yes, not what you do. I was like from my friend of the mine, Simon Seneck. But people don't they they want to resonate with you, they want to know that you get them and that you understand where they're at and you can help them get to where they want to go. That's essentially what people buy, and they want to know that they that you are like them, and that your why corresponds with who they are and what matters to them, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

They they align with you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

And and so it helps you differentiate, it helps you uh clarify your messaging, it helps you clarify your positioning, it helps you make strategic decisions. Does this place take me closer to being who I want to be or further away? Does working with this person make me feel more on track with who I want to be, or does it take me further away? Does it diminish me? It helps you set boundaries, it helps you figure out what matters to me. What am I gonna be a stand for? Yes, what am I gonna be a stand against? Yes, you know, and so I am a fierce stand against the BS story of not enough, because that is the opposite of I matter. That's the opposite of truth, yeah. And so so it helps us really clarify where we put our stick in the sand, and then we can take that and turn that into how we apply it through our purpose, our passions, like you said, our pleasure, what brings us pleasure. We can profit from it, both for ourselves and other people. Um, there's a lot that it does beyond just, you know, kind of a nice to have. I think it's a real foundation for us to build on and build from. And I think it's important at any age, but I've been working with a lot of people who are going through the whole, okay, who am I now? And now what? And our society says you're over a certain age, therefore you're no longer valuable and you're irrelevant. And so they literally dismiss us, and often we're literally invisible. And frankly, when I encountered that personally, when it impinged on me personally, it annoyed me and pissed me off so much that I decided, okay, I've been the subject of sexism and sizism, I am not dealing with the thirdism in the form of ageism that's gotta go. And so it's about, like you said, boundaries are when we have had enough of something and someone is crossed into uh what is is our you know, our space, our our sovereignty. And um, that was what made me decide to create the maturepreneur world was because it's not okay to dismiss 25% of the population and be in a world that is happy and healthy and balanced. Like we just and you know, 25% of the population in terms of this, and then we dismiss a whole bunch of the population based on race and based on sex and based on, you know, like we need to knock that off because we cannot come together if we've got all these separations.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So I'm gonna actually, I love this because I'm gonna push it against the boundary uh concept for just a second. Like, cause I also uh and I've I've taught this on this podcast a lot, like boundaries are not like what you set between you and another person. They're 100% about who you choose to be. Right. And so when you're talking about like that age as someone that was pushing against you, right? Yeah, like you're you know how valuable you are. Yeah, you know it, right? And so really more or less what was happening there was they were pushing against your your identity and your self-worth, and you stood in it. That's what creates that unbreakable boundary, and so when when that when we stand, it does create like what people would necessarily say is a boundary, right? Like that that interaction between us and another person, yeah. But in reality, you stood for the boundary, and the result of that happened. Does that make sense? And you were, yeah, like I like I love, I love just that very, you know, example shows like how boundaries work, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:13

So then my question for you is it can we can we have what would you call it when it's boundaries for other people, meaning that no, it's not okay to dismiss people based on age or race or gender or whatever, whatever. Because then what we're doing is we're saying this system or this infraction or this breach is not okay. Now, it for sure I totally rebelled because it's like, oh no, you do not get to dismiss me. Right. Yeah, yeah, and you should. Yeah, and and absolutely it starts there, but then it's also I'm a pretty fierce stand for and you don't get to dismiss them either. Right, right. So what do you call that? If that's not a boundary, what do you call it?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

So that's not a boundary. So what actually is not a boundary, and I don't like I will say it's not about boundaries with other people or putting boundaries on other people, right? Because boundaries, if you put them on other people, you cannot control that. Yeah, a boundary should stay in your control. And that's what creates them un uh as unbreakable. But how you define the boundary is how you also define what happens next when somebody pushes against the boundary. Does that make sense? And so with you, it was like, okay, I no, you do not get to dismiss me. I am somebody who is important. My voice matters. I am smart, like like I have faith in myself, and it doesn't matter that you don't, but if I don't stand for me in this moment, then I am actually giving voice to you what you think more than the truth.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

And so that's being in respect, right? That's you living inside of your values. No matter what somebody else does.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Right. Okay. So then what I'm hearing is what you would call it is if it's uh for me standing in my own um value, et cetera, I'm setting a boundary when it's out there, I am taking a stand. It's not a boundary, it's taking a stand. Exactly. That exactly definition works for me. And I and I think so. I just before we kind of wrap, I want to give people a couple little tips on ways to what your why is, uh, because it's a big topic, and there's a lot of kind of, you know, we get told that our why is our job, we get told that our why is, you know, just purely following our passion or whatever. But here's a few things that you can do to start to get some insight about what might be at the core for you. So, one, I'm going to teleport you a magic wand. I want you to wave it and you can change one thing about you, other people, or yourself. What would that be? So write it down. You can change one thing about you, other people or your or the world. What would that be? That's so write it down. Then the next exercise is what do you rant about on your soapbox? And if you think I don't rant on a soapbox, then just go ask your family, honey. If you go and ask your friends and family, they'll say, Oh, yeah, you're always on about this. Okay, so write down what you rant about, because we all have that. Um, then the next thing is, what do you stand for or against? You might be clearer about that. That might be another way to kind of access the rant. Write that down. And why? Why those matter to you, you know, and and frankly, what's like my rant? My rant is I it started off with I I get really annoyed with people who leave their cart in the middle of the aisle in a safe way in the grocery store. Well, why? Because that's pretty arbitrary. Well, because they don't consider anyone else, they're just the center of the universe, and they don't they don't care that they're in impacting other people negatively, that they're in the way and they're causing problems and so forth. Well, okay, why is that a problem? Well, people who don't care about other people then can be inadvertently quite harmful. So then I'm starting to get closer to the truth. So you just dig down below that.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Yes, I I love this process. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

People don't and what it comes down to is if they don't care about me, that's really the bottom line. They don't care or care about me, and that pokes my not enough button. That pokes my you don't matter button. So what it comes down to is my my why, my um, you know, purpose of I want you to get that you matter, it's because I want to matter. And when they don't care about me, then that pokes that, right? So if you dig down, you start to get at what the end of the thread is. So, and I and I also encourage you to take a look at some significant events that happened when you were little, as early as you can remember, often difficult, traumatic, etc., and and write it down, just point form. What was it? What was the story that that little boy or little girl made up about themselves, other people, or the world? World's not safe, men are bad, I'm not enough, I'm stupid. What's the story that that little kid, not the adult looking back now and sanitizing it, but that little kid, what was the story they they made up? Because you can see it like the wake behind all the way through. And so, what was the story they made up? Then the next step in that little process is what is the new story you're gonna tell instead? The adult who loves that child looking back, what's a different story that you could tell about that? And come up with a bunch of different stories, and then pick a more empowering story because the bottom line is we're making it all up, anyways. We might as well make up a more empowering story. So forget what that little story was, what's the story now, and then sit back after you've written those that all out, sit back, leave it for a few days, come back, read it as if this is a stranger. See if you can see the thread that weaves throughout, see if you can see what's the end of the thread in each of those things, or the common theme, or the what does this person really care about? What moves this person? What's the window they see the world through? Just read it objectively and be curious about this human being. That's going to get you closer to your why. It's often easier to do in the listening of someone else, especially someone who's trained, to listen from longing, to listen for who you are, and so on, but which is why it's great to have coaches who have that ability. Not everyone does, because we can't see it. It's right on the end of our nose, and we can't see it. It we're too close. So it helps to have someone pull it back. These exercises are a way for you to just kind of pull back a little bit from yourself, take a look, be curious about this human being. What do they really care about? What's the difference that they want to be in the world? And that's going to give you a big clue about your why. Yeah. And agreed. Get some support with okay, how do I live into that? How do I make it part of my business? How do I be in service to that in the world? How do I use that to fuel my pleasure and my passions and make my life juicy? That's a why is not something you figure out and put on the shelf. It's something that creates the quality and the juiciness of our life. So I love it. And you're right.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Matters, and that's why I'm passionate about making sure that people of all ages know that that they have a why that matters because they matter.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. And when you know that you matter, yeah, that's when you can start seeing how other people matter. And all of a sudden now we have some juice happening. Yeah. I love it. Okay. We're gonna ask Jeanette to come back because there's a couple of things that I do want to talk more about, like that container and like expanding our container and expanding our horizons within this why. And um, you know, going back and forth and like re-really defining the boundary side of this. Cause it sounds like you and I are pretty on on the same page with that. Just, you know, clarifying so clarifying both of us a little bit between each other, right? So juicy juicy content. We're gonna have Jeanette back. Uh let me know, guys. Also, and you guys are welcome to message the show. If you have questions for Jeanette or I and you would like us to uh address them in the next podcast episode, let us know. And in the other in the meantime, I'll see you guys soon. Bye guys.